God, please help. I don't know what I'm doing.

Today I have a guest blogger, a friend of mine named Vicki Hookham, mother of five children, which somehow earns her shock, criticism, and admiration. She is one of those people who handles life with honesty and humor, one of my favorite angles. I would like to title this "That awkward moment when you see your own wisdom and it is profoundly lacking and yet you push on, because what else can you do???--but that seemed a little long.

A checkout clerk at Walmart asked me why I have "so many children" last week. I thought she was more curious than intending any disrespect, and worthy enough of the benefit of the doubt anyway, so I just gave her the most to-the-point answer: "Because we like them!" But that doesn't mean we always know what to do with them.


I don't know all the details of what A (13) and E (11) did to each other in the Junior High service at church tonight, but each boy hopped in the car quite loudly convinced his brother deserved everything he got--apparently smacking, kicking, and the lobbing of shoes at each other was involved. From what I could glean of their bickering, I judged them both guilty for perpetuating discord at every opportunity and demanded the Standard Insincere Apology Exchange (tm). And drove home wondering what to do for my sons' spiritual needs.

Minutes later, Eric is bent over, quietly sobbing in the 3rd row. I let him cry until we were home, and he could gather himself somewhat. What was wrong? He said he was ashamed of the way he behaved at church tonight. When Andrew heard this, he looked pretty sheepish too and the apologies were much more sincere. We talked about sin, personal responsibility, anger, forgiveness and bible verses, prayed for each other and held each other.

I have no control over what I see as my children's greatest needs. But Someone Else does, and tonight I saw proof that in His hands, it will be okay. It isn't pain-free, but it is quite worth it. God makes it "worth it."

The image in this blog entry is an actual action figure, available for purchase at http://www.happyworker.com/catalog/item/supermom-action-figure.