It is my hope that this blog, like the devotionals I do at Lunch at Angie's, give you something to think on. I like my chin to be tilted up, to see a bigger picture than just this carpool, this evening's dinner plans, tonight's homework, tomorrow's meeting. I also hope that you can share some of these ideas with others who have questions. Questions are good.
I am teaching a class called Understanding the Times to two homeschool students (one is my own daughter), and there are indeed some interesting ideas therein. (I just used the word "therein" in a sentence. Let's pause while I take a moment to feel smart.) I was talking to my best friend about one of the featured authors, and she told me I should blog on it. So here it is, best friend.
This author presented the Biblical perspective on why there is evil in the world in terms of past, present, and future. He said that this question (Why do bad things happen to good people, and all its forms) has two components: the general philosophical question of what this means about God and the universe, and the more personal, ie, why did something bad happen to me? The personal is harder to deal with--there is pain attached to that one, so it's not a matter of simple reasoning; we require healing--but having the philosophical answer in place can be useful.
First, consider the past. God created the world to be good. He was very pleased with all of creation, including the man and woman He made and blessed. Suffering came when man messed up; Adam disobeyed God and all sorts of suffering entered the world as a consequence of his rebellion. Do you remember your parents ever telling you, "You brought your suffering on yourself"? To a degree, that's true of mankind. We rejected God and His ways, and the consequences don't just hurt us, they hurt those around us, like a drunk behind the wheel. The world is messed up, and evil is bouncing around like a pinball.
Why doesn't a good God set things right? The answer is in the future: He will. Just because He hasn't solved the problem yet doesn't mean the answer isn't provided and everything won't be set straight..eventually. I honestly look forward to judgement and the end of the world. I love justice, and I'm tired of my own hangups being part of the problem. I want righteousness to reign and all this junk to stop. But 2 Peter tells us that God is patient, wanting all men to come to salvation, and so He is delaying judgement. We're waiting, God, and we trust You.
The next part really struck me: so if God made everything good, but He won't fix things until later, where does that leave us now? The answer is: He is with us. One of the names of Jesus is Immanuel, "God with us." He came to walk alongside of us, to not leave us alone while we're waiting for it all to be sorted. Remember the story of Lazarus dying? Jesus waited four days to come, knowing Lazarus would die, knowing He would raise him from the dead. When Mary fell at His feet and said, "If you had been here, my brother would not have died," Jesus wept. Why did He do that? He knew in mere minutes she would hug her brother again. But in her suffering, He was with her. No other religion promises a Comforter to be with us in all of our troubles. God didn't just tell us to suck it up through the hard times; He is with us in our hurt.
Thanks, Jesus. Thank You so much.
Showing posts with label learning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label learning. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Friday, October 26, 2012
A Safe Community
At the last Lunch at Angie's, we talked about alcohol. Do you drink? What do you think about drinking? Our group is quite a mix of women (ages, backgrounds, life situations), and so the answer was kind of like hearing the Church itself speak. Granted, we are all American Protestants, but still, it was varied, real, and refreshing.
Being a part of meaningful conversation creates some sort of marker in our lives. Being able to express your real thoughts, hearing from the hearts and lives of others, is not something that happens to us all the time. I pray that you have a group of friends or a family environment that connects with meaningful words. It is food for the soul, a refreshing drink.
Someone once called Lunch at Angie's a safe environment. There is a theology behind being safe. Did you ever think about that, the beliefs that are in place to have safety?
1) God loves you, and He knows everything in your heart, whether you say it out loud or not.
2) We are all sinners--this is one of my favorites. Many religions are a list of do's and don'ts, but Christianity is about knowing Truth, a personal God who wants to be known. One of the realities that Christianity teaches is that we all mess up, we are all short of the holiness of God. I never have to put on a false front before my God or His people. I can be known for what I really am, warts and all.
3) We are meant to encourage each other. Christians are not lone rangers who pull themselves together and do the right thing. We need each other...other insights, other perspectives, the knowledge others share, the example (good or not) that they provide. Not only does God love you, but so do your sisters in Christ. And we love with a love He has planted in our hearts, which is awesome and beyond our own ability.
Our only Scripture was "Seek first His Kingdom, and His righteousness" (Matthew 6:33). This must be the primary focus of our lives. Everything else--what we know, what we do, how we fail, how we succeed--is secondary to chasing Him, to living out His call. On the journey, may we help others along.
Being a part of meaningful conversation creates some sort of marker in our lives. Being able to express your real thoughts, hearing from the hearts and lives of others, is not something that happens to us all the time. I pray that you have a group of friends or a family environment that connects with meaningful words. It is food for the soul, a refreshing drink.
Someone once called Lunch at Angie's a safe environment. There is a theology behind being safe. Did you ever think about that, the beliefs that are in place to have safety?
1) God loves you, and He knows everything in your heart, whether you say it out loud or not.
2) We are all sinners--this is one of my favorites. Many religions are a list of do's and don'ts, but Christianity is about knowing Truth, a personal God who wants to be known. One of the realities that Christianity teaches is that we all mess up, we are all short of the holiness of God. I never have to put on a false front before my God or His people. I can be known for what I really am, warts and all.
3) We are meant to encourage each other. Christians are not lone rangers who pull themselves together and do the right thing. We need each other...other insights, other perspectives, the knowledge others share, the example (good or not) that they provide. Not only does God love you, but so do your sisters in Christ. And we love with a love He has planted in our hearts, which is awesome and beyond our own ability.
Our only Scripture was "Seek first His Kingdom, and His righteousness" (Matthew 6:33). This must be the primary focus of our lives. Everything else--what we know, what we do, how we fail, how we succeed--is secondary to chasing Him, to living out His call. On the journey, may we help others along.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Remember where you've been
I have been really down lately about not having a church home. I've been through all sorts of phases since we left our church, but this recent time found me not really thinking about any particular thing...just sad.
I don't like being sad. It actually makes me a bit angry, so you can imagine I've been a joy to be around. I'm pretty good on the surface, but if you bump me--well, yuck. Then at some point last week (probably 4:13pm on Thursday), I remembered.
God values remembering. A lot of the psalms are just reminders of what history Israel has been through. Many times when he addresses individuals he begins with flicking their forehead and saying, "Remember da da da, o beloved moron?" Have you had that happen to you?
At 4:12, I thought, "I just need to think all of this through, settle in my mind what has happened." And at 4:13, God flicked me on the forehead and said, "Remember? Remember when you left your church home after 10 years, walking away from a women's class that you were leading, that you loved? What kind of 'understanding' did you find then? Remember?"
Ironically, until that thump on the head, I thought I had sorted that out. After all, I have so much peace about that time period in my life. But as it was happening? It was awful. I didn't know if we were doing the right thing, and people were certainly not applauding us. When we would tell someone our decision, we often got shocked expressions and a bit of distance. But after a year, things were better. After four years, they were amazing.
But I never "understood." There are parts of that scenario that were just painful, that I can't explain, and some of those parts taught me the most. I had to trust that God was guiding my family, that He would take care of us and prepare a good future for us. Which He did.
Psalm 131 says, "My heart is not proud, O Lord, my eyes are not haughty. I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have stilled and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me." Read it again...it's like a lullaby for your spirit.
I don't like being sad. It actually makes me a bit angry, so you can imagine I've been a joy to be around. I'm pretty good on the surface, but if you bump me--well, yuck. Then at some point last week (probably 4:13pm on Thursday), I remembered.
God values remembering. A lot of the psalms are just reminders of what history Israel has been through. Many times when he addresses individuals he begins with flicking their forehead and saying, "Remember da da da, o beloved moron?" Have you had that happen to you?
At 4:12, I thought, "I just need to think all of this through, settle in my mind what has happened." And at 4:13, God flicked me on the forehead and said, "Remember? Remember when you left your church home after 10 years, walking away from a women's class that you were leading, that you loved? What kind of 'understanding' did you find then? Remember?"
Ironically, until that thump on the head, I thought I had sorted that out. After all, I have so much peace about that time period in my life. But as it was happening? It was awful. I didn't know if we were doing the right thing, and people were certainly not applauding us. When we would tell someone our decision, we often got shocked expressions and a bit of distance. But after a year, things were better. After four years, they were amazing.
But I never "understood." There are parts of that scenario that were just painful, that I can't explain, and some of those parts taught me the most. I had to trust that God was guiding my family, that He would take care of us and prepare a good future for us. Which He did.
Psalm 131 says, "My heart is not proud, O Lord, my eyes are not haughty. I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have stilled and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me." Read it again...it's like a lullaby for your spirit.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Be awake, but not alone
It is not easy to live awake. There are so many options for checking out, whether substances, entertainment, or just emotional distance and distraction. So if you're living with sadness, worry, or anger today, know that you are at least engaged. Be awake to the problems in your life, and move towards a solution.
However, you don't have to face anything alone. Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." He said, "My yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Jesus is not encouraging us to check out, to live as if we have no problems. He is telling us to give them over to Him, and He will pull with us. With Him, it is not so heavy to carry those emotions and trials.
Please realize, today I am clearly speaking to myself. Do not imagine me happy and content, typing away some advice that I am not in need of. As I was driving home to teach this morning, having dropped off each younger daughter, I was working these truths out like a butterfly battling out of my coccoon. It's okay to be tired, Angie, when you are working out tough things. Oh, and guess what, Angie? You can take these burdens to God, and He will genuinely help you.
It is so easy to forget.
However, you don't have to face anything alone. Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." He said, "My yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Jesus is not encouraging us to check out, to live as if we have no problems. He is telling us to give them over to Him, and He will pull with us. With Him, it is not so heavy to carry those emotions and trials.
Please realize, today I am clearly speaking to myself. Do not imagine me happy and content, typing away some advice that I am not in need of. As I was driving home to teach this morning, having dropped off each younger daughter, I was working these truths out like a butterfly battling out of my coccoon. It's okay to be tired, Angie, when you are working out tough things. Oh, and guess what, Angie? You can take these burdens to God, and He will genuinely help you.
It is so easy to forget.
Friday, September 14, 2012
Learning the Bible
Growing closer to God is a three-legged stool that has your name on it in His throne room. After all, you are His child, and we all have our special privileges, being the King's kids. My stool is bright green with whimsical flowers painted on it...but I digress.
The three legs are the Bible, prayer, and fellowship with other believers. If you're reading this blog, it's likely that you know me, so as part of your group of believers, I want to share with you how I learned about the Bible.
I loved reading as a child, and in college I majored in English because it allowed me to read books instead of textbooks. I know how to approach a book and learn about it, and since the Bible is like 1300 pages, it is not the easiest text to grasp. When I was younger, I decided that instead of memorizing a bunch of verses, I would try to learn the Bible's structure; I learned what kind of book each one was, who wrote it, why and when(ish). I love history, so I tried to imagine what life was like for all the people in the time they lived in, how different the culture was in say Moses' day compared to King David compared to Jesus. I read the NIV Study Bible, which had commentary on verses giving cultural and historical details that made the text make more sense. I wanted the whole book in my head. If you want to study the Bible this way, find an edition that has introductions at the beginning of each book with background information. It's really helpful. My husband and I also read Jesus & His Times, a Reader's Digest book that discussed history, politics, religion, education, geography, etc. in Jesus' day. Anything that makes it come alive to you is good.
The second "process" that I used to help learn the Bible was just curiosity. I remember sitting in a women's Bible study when I had been a Christian about 15 years. When in the course of the discussion, I would think of a different verse that seemed to shed light on what we were talking about, I would look it up. Not just think, "Oh, that says blah," but physically find it (which helped me learn where things are a little better) and read the context. Sometimes I didn't remember the verse accurately, and looking it up made the reference irrelevant--or even more interesting. This is still the primary way I grown in my knowledge of the Bible: connecting verses, strengthening my memory and familiarity with the Word, following my curiosity.
The third way to learn the Bible better is to do what it says. It is one thing to have knowledge, but you must also look up and ask, "In light of what I read, now what do I DO?" Trying to apply the Bible makes you curious about how God works in YOUR world, which makes you think of something you read in Ruth, which you look up, which further makes you curious about what you should do on Tuesday, which stirs you to ask the Father, and as you pray you think of a verse in Luke, etc. Obedience leads to growth as a Christian like nothing else. But you must know what God says in His revealed Word. He will not primarily approach you in personal revelation until your brain is saturated with the truth He has already given. It is through this truth that He chooses to speak to us. Know the Bible and you know Him better.
The three legs are the Bible, prayer, and fellowship with other believers. If you're reading this blog, it's likely that you know me, so as part of your group of believers, I want to share with you how I learned about the Bible.
I loved reading as a child, and in college I majored in English because it allowed me to read books instead of textbooks. I know how to approach a book and learn about it, and since the Bible is like 1300 pages, it is not the easiest text to grasp. When I was younger, I decided that instead of memorizing a bunch of verses, I would try to learn the Bible's structure; I learned what kind of book each one was, who wrote it, why and when(ish). I love history, so I tried to imagine what life was like for all the people in the time they lived in, how different the culture was in say Moses' day compared to King David compared to Jesus. I read the NIV Study Bible, which had commentary on verses giving cultural and historical details that made the text make more sense. I wanted the whole book in my head. If you want to study the Bible this way, find an edition that has introductions at the beginning of each book with background information. It's really helpful. My husband and I also read Jesus & His Times, a Reader's Digest book that discussed history, politics, religion, education, geography, etc. in Jesus' day. Anything that makes it come alive to you is good.
The second "process" that I used to help learn the Bible was just curiosity. I remember sitting in a women's Bible study when I had been a Christian about 15 years. When in the course of the discussion, I would think of a different verse that seemed to shed light on what we were talking about, I would look it up. Not just think, "Oh, that says blah," but physically find it (which helped me learn where things are a little better) and read the context. Sometimes I didn't remember the verse accurately, and looking it up made the reference irrelevant--or even more interesting. This is still the primary way I grown in my knowledge of the Bible: connecting verses, strengthening my memory and familiarity with the Word, following my curiosity.
The third way to learn the Bible better is to do what it says. It is one thing to have knowledge, but you must also look up and ask, "In light of what I read, now what do I DO?" Trying to apply the Bible makes you curious about how God works in YOUR world, which makes you think of something you read in Ruth, which you look up, which further makes you curious about what you should do on Tuesday, which stirs you to ask the Father, and as you pray you think of a verse in Luke, etc. Obedience leads to growth as a Christian like nothing else. But you must know what God says in His revealed Word. He will not primarily approach you in personal revelation until your brain is saturated with the truth He has already given. It is through this truth that He chooses to speak to us. Know the Bible and you know Him better.
Monday, September 10, 2012
Iron relationships
I have known my best friend for longer than we've really been best friends. She was in school and worked with my husband before I "stole" her, about the time our firstborns arrived in the world. Our eldest are 18 and almost 18 now, so we have a few years invested in our relationship.
One thing I have learned is that she's just not good at everything. She is the first person I call in any crisis, and she is great at "Put on your big girl panties" speeches. She is a gale-force wind to help me choose the right thing when I don't feel like it. And she's not really good at emotional comfort when the bottom drops out of my world. I've learned to mitigate how much I seek her out in those times, and to minimally brace for her reaction.
Please note, she endures a lot of drama from me. When we first met, I was so sensitized to different issues, thanks to a lot of pain from graduate school, there were times she could barely converse with me. But that is my point: tolerating each other's weaknesses and working through them has given us a stronger relationship.
She has a no-nonsense approach to life, and I have seen her siblings in crisis through her perspective. Each one has something to contribute, and together they handle family trials, each playing a different role. In the midst of this uniqueness, there could be a lot of annoyance. It often seems like one of the siblings isn't doing the "right" thing, and yet my friend finds their strength and expects them to shine there, not putting them in a situation that she herself might be able to handle beautifully but would certainly put one of her sisters in failure mode.
Long set up to say...how do you see your church? Are they family? Do you play the role God designed you to play and realize that everyone else has a different part? There were so many times over the course of our friendship that one of us could have walked away. Think about it: the Bible describes friends as "iron sharpening iron," which seems extremely abrasive and irritating and totally anti-Hallmark. God will put people in your life who will rub on you. Be willing to look for His hand in that relationship or situation that you would rather flee. Maybe He is sharpening you.
One thing I have learned is that she's just not good at everything. She is the first person I call in any crisis, and she is great at "Put on your big girl panties" speeches. She is a gale-force wind to help me choose the right thing when I don't feel like it. And she's not really good at emotional comfort when the bottom drops out of my world. I've learned to mitigate how much I seek her out in those times, and to minimally brace for her reaction.
Please note, she endures a lot of drama from me. When we first met, I was so sensitized to different issues, thanks to a lot of pain from graduate school, there were times she could barely converse with me. But that is my point: tolerating each other's weaknesses and working through them has given us a stronger relationship.
She has a no-nonsense approach to life, and I have seen her siblings in crisis through her perspective. Each one has something to contribute, and together they handle family trials, each playing a different role. In the midst of this uniqueness, there could be a lot of annoyance. It often seems like one of the siblings isn't doing the "right" thing, and yet my friend finds their strength and expects them to shine there, not putting them in a situation that she herself might be able to handle beautifully but would certainly put one of her sisters in failure mode.
Long set up to say...how do you see your church? Are they family? Do you play the role God designed you to play and realize that everyone else has a different part? There were so many times over the course of our friendship that one of us could have walked away. Think about it: the Bible describes friends as "iron sharpening iron," which seems extremely abrasive and irritating and totally anti-Hallmark. God will put people in your life who will rub on you. Be willing to look for His hand in that relationship or situation that you would rather flee. Maybe He is sharpening you.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
What it looks like to paint
I had the privilege of supervising some very talented people on a mural project in the summer of 2011. Natasha was the brilliant person in charge of the details: the design, the instruction, the correction, the scheduling of various volunteer painters. It was incredible in its scope and beauty, and I, with no painting gifts and a deep appreciation for artists, got to watch things come along. Even better, I got to paint a few stones here and there myself.
I learned a lot of little things from Natasha about painting: you can leave your brushes in water overnight; you can wrap your roller in foil and put it in the frig; you can cover your containers with tin foil and use them again. These things saved us so much time by reducing the amount of labor involved in cleaning. They also drove our maintenance manager a little crazy, because our space looked messy. Sometimes the paint actually dried out, so a little might have been wasted. But I must say, washing the paint out of every container, every brush, every time, also wastes paint.
Now, as I am painting my house--just putting paint in a solid color in the gameroom, girls' bedrooms, the hallway, the exterior (nothing complex or interesting)--I am delighted to use what I learned from Natasha. I have painted lots before, but now I am more confident. I have SEEN someone do this, and I am more solid for the acquaintance.
This phenomenon of modeling is necessary to the Christian. Without seeing, you cannot be solid. You can know what to do from reading and studying, but someone who comes alongside of you makes a huge difference. Subtleties get passed on that your mentor is not even aware of. May you rub off on people as you go about your everyday life, using the skills God gave you. Thanks, Natasha.
I learned a lot of little things from Natasha about painting: you can leave your brushes in water overnight; you can wrap your roller in foil and put it in the frig; you can cover your containers with tin foil and use them again. These things saved us so much time by reducing the amount of labor involved in cleaning. They also drove our maintenance manager a little crazy, because our space looked messy. Sometimes the paint actually dried out, so a little might have been wasted. But I must say, washing the paint out of every container, every brush, every time, also wastes paint.
Now, as I am painting my house--just putting paint in a solid color in the gameroom, girls' bedrooms, the hallway, the exterior (nothing complex or interesting)--I am delighted to use what I learned from Natasha. I have painted lots before, but now I am more confident. I have SEEN someone do this, and I am more solid for the acquaintance.
This phenomenon of modeling is necessary to the Christian. Without seeing, you cannot be solid. You can know what to do from reading and studying, but someone who comes alongside of you makes a huge difference. Subtleties get passed on that your mentor is not even aware of. May you rub off on people as you go about your everyday life, using the skills God gave you. Thanks, Natasha.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Holidays
I find it intriguing that holidays are God's idea. If you read the Old Testament, a lot of the laws God made for his people involved special celebrations they were to have. A dear friend of mine, who is monastic in her worldview, rebels against the holidays. She loves the simplicity of her everyday life, the rhythm of the known and the chosen. What's so great about stress and company and expectations and extra food and spending more money? If we make healthy daily choices, where is the health in our holiday insanity?
I used to pause from my mandatory baking of gifts for everyone I know, drafting a letter to send in bulk to my closest forty friends and relatives, and scheming on three different ways to serve the community to just look at her in bewilderment. How could holidays not be GREAT? It sounds like sacrilege. Especially Christmas--does she not love Baby Jesus, or WHAT? (Everything associated with holidays should be in ALL CAPS.)
When my kids got old enough to understand the concept of "present," I began to have birthday parties for them. Inviting friends, planning fun activities, shopping for great gifts. I remember being very pregnant with Rebekah and feeling panicked that Abby should have a fantastic 6th birthday party. We had the party several weeks before Abby's birthday because I was having pre-labor contractions, and what if I had the baby and she missed her party?!! There are photos of me standing on our porch, looking like a large mammal has climbed under the front of my dress, holding the rope for a pinata, while blindfolded children swing dangerously close to the large target of my belly.
This birthday party thing began to build on itself. Every year had to be GREAT, and somehow that means "better than the year before." I would try to scale back, I would try to limit the guests, and I'm sure someone looking on would not think I was out of control. Inside, I was mounting a huge altar of expectations, on which something was sure to be sacrificed.
I really don't know if I have the birthday HOOPLAH under control. But I am enjoying holidays more, feeling less stressed and pressured. And have you noticed how often holidays happen? They pockmark our year with their presence, and no sooner do we settle into "regular life" than here one comes again.
I think they are exams that God gives us. We think we are learning all sorts of wonderful aspects of character: patience, love for fellow man, generosity, etc. We feel pretty good about ourselves. And then our regular life is interrupted for a HOLIDAY and darned if we don't look pretty lousy at one point or another. Like a student taking an exam, we discover what we do and don't know. We see the places where we still need to study. Holidays are revealing, and didn't God describe himself as a light shining in the darkness?
I hope you enjoy the spotlight this year. Don't take it too badly if you screw up somewhere along the way; you won't be alone. Like Red Green says, "We're all in this together. Keep your stick on the ice."
I used to pause from my mandatory baking of gifts for everyone I know, drafting a letter to send in bulk to my closest forty friends and relatives, and scheming on three different ways to serve the community to just look at her in bewilderment. How could holidays not be GREAT? It sounds like sacrilege. Especially Christmas--does she not love Baby Jesus, or WHAT? (Everything associated with holidays should be in ALL CAPS.)
When my kids got old enough to understand the concept of "present," I began to have birthday parties for them. Inviting friends, planning fun activities, shopping for great gifts. I remember being very pregnant with Rebekah and feeling panicked that Abby should have a fantastic 6th birthday party. We had the party several weeks before Abby's birthday because I was having pre-labor contractions, and what if I had the baby and she missed her party?!! There are photos of me standing on our porch, looking like a large mammal has climbed under the front of my dress, holding the rope for a pinata, while blindfolded children swing dangerously close to the large target of my belly.
This birthday party thing began to build on itself. Every year had to be GREAT, and somehow that means "better than the year before." I would try to scale back, I would try to limit the guests, and I'm sure someone looking on would not think I was out of control. Inside, I was mounting a huge altar of expectations, on which something was sure to be sacrificed.
I really don't know if I have the birthday HOOPLAH under control. But I am enjoying holidays more, feeling less stressed and pressured. And have you noticed how often holidays happen? They pockmark our year with their presence, and no sooner do we settle into "regular life" than here one comes again.
I think they are exams that God gives us. We think we are learning all sorts of wonderful aspects of character: patience, love for fellow man, generosity, etc. We feel pretty good about ourselves. And then our regular life is interrupted for a HOLIDAY and darned if we don't look pretty lousy at one point or another. Like a student taking an exam, we discover what we do and don't know. We see the places where we still need to study. Holidays are revealing, and didn't God describe himself as a light shining in the darkness?
I hope you enjoy the spotlight this year. Don't take it too badly if you screw up somewhere along the way; you won't be alone. Like Red Green says, "We're all in this together. Keep your stick on the ice."
Monday, December 1, 2008
The courses I take
I learned a lot in school. I liked learning. But after graduating from college, I have learned the most from my friends. Over the years, I have come to believe that God brings new relationships into my life with the purpose of teaching me something. Each person that God brings to me is like enrolling in a new course, something with a vague title that makes you really curious what you're going to get. . .What would you expect from a course simply named Susie?
My friend Julie loved to promote her birthday. She would remind everyone when her birthday was, ask what you planned to get for her, etc. I loved her exuberance. Her example helped me to throw off my shyness about my "special day", when I expected others to make it a "great day" for me and I just humbly received their kindness. I learned to be loud and assume people loved me and wanted to be kind to me. It was a lesson that carried beyond just an annual celebration.
My friend Bonnie taught me that people can change. When we met, I was listening to talk radio and coming from a very politically polarized environment. I was quite good at categorizing people, and once I had you pegged, my expectations for you were set. Bonnie used to say out loud, "People change," and I would think, "No, they don't." But a friend helps you see the world from another perspective, and just from simple conversation I began to see things more how she sees them. I have learned to hope the best for people and expect God's best for them, assuming that his gentle love can wear on all of our hearts. And in our friendship, we discuss our own growth all the time. As I hope for my own change and have the humility to admit that I do change, I see people around me differently.
My friend Ginny has taught me how to screw up publicly and laugh it off. (I know, Bonnie, you thought you taught me this. . .) She says & does the most ridiculous things, and there are many times people really laugh AT her and not WITH her. But I have noticed that she brings the sweet aroma of freedom into any room she enters, and she enjoys her own mistakes right along with yours. The other day, everyone laughed at something stupid I said in community group, and I felt like Ginny. I felt free of my own perfectionism and the need to control my image. Joy!
Judy has taught me to value the zeal of youth, no matter how many years we collect. Bethany has taught me to be hungry to learn, to say, "I don't understand, please explain." Jennifer has taught me that it's okay to cry in front of people. My list can go on and on. . .
But the main point is this: none of these dear people set out to teach me anything. God is about the business of building my character, and he uses people around me to do so. They don't need to have any intentions towards me. . .although, a good general sense of honesty does help! Remember when God said, "Look at my servant Job"? Remember when the apostle Paul said, "Follow my example"? Those statements seem a bit scary, but it's not really up to us to model or teach. If God wants to use us, he can, and it may be he uses us to teach something we didn't even know we had to give. Maybe that's the best kind.
My friend Julie loved to promote her birthday. She would remind everyone when her birthday was, ask what you planned to get for her, etc. I loved her exuberance. Her example helped me to throw off my shyness about my "special day", when I expected others to make it a "great day" for me and I just humbly received their kindness. I learned to be loud and assume people loved me and wanted to be kind to me. It was a lesson that carried beyond just an annual celebration.
My friend Bonnie taught me that people can change. When we met, I was listening to talk radio and coming from a very politically polarized environment. I was quite good at categorizing people, and once I had you pegged, my expectations for you were set. Bonnie used to say out loud, "People change," and I would think, "No, they don't." But a friend helps you see the world from another perspective, and just from simple conversation I began to see things more how she sees them. I have learned to hope the best for people and expect God's best for them, assuming that his gentle love can wear on all of our hearts. And in our friendship, we discuss our own growth all the time. As I hope for my own change and have the humility to admit that I do change, I see people around me differently.
My friend Ginny has taught me how to screw up publicly and laugh it off. (I know, Bonnie, you thought you taught me this. . .) She says & does the most ridiculous things, and there are many times people really laugh AT her and not WITH her. But I have noticed that she brings the sweet aroma of freedom into any room she enters, and she enjoys her own mistakes right along with yours. The other day, everyone laughed at something stupid I said in community group, and I felt like Ginny. I felt free of my own perfectionism and the need to control my image. Joy!
Judy has taught me to value the zeal of youth, no matter how many years we collect. Bethany has taught me to be hungry to learn, to say, "I don't understand, please explain." Jennifer has taught me that it's okay to cry in front of people. My list can go on and on. . .
But the main point is this: none of these dear people set out to teach me anything. God is about the business of building my character, and he uses people around me to do so. They don't need to have any intentions towards me. . .although, a good general sense of honesty does help! Remember when God said, "Look at my servant Job"? Remember when the apostle Paul said, "Follow my example"? Those statements seem a bit scary, but it's not really up to us to model or teach. If God wants to use us, he can, and it may be he uses us to teach something we didn't even know we had to give. Maybe that's the best kind.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
God redeems
Crappy things happen in this life--and I don't mean the little fish. One of the prime examples in my own life is how sick I became with each of my pregnancies. For three months I couldn't move or talk without vomiting. I lost 10-15 pounds each time, and was hospitalized for hyperemesis two times. Day in and day out suffering is hard to endure, especially mentally. You get so sad or angry or just bored. It is a misery unlike having a cold or breaking a bone.
I would love to be pregnant and miss being sick (something that has never happened to me). I think that would be a great experience! But God has truly redeemed that time of illness for me, especially now when my own mother is suffering pain and nausea on an almost continuous basis. She is taking the same medication I took with my third pregnancy. I can say to her, "I know what this is like, Mom" and she knows that I know. It is immensely comforting to know someone else has had to walk the road God has placed before you. I have been much more empathetic of people suffering with long term illness because of my own pregnancies, but now to get to be there for Mom--I wouldn't trade the knowledge for the easy path.
I'm not sure that walking the easy path is ever helpful to other people. I have a great marriage. But I am rarely able to counsel and comfort from the platform of "my life is great." Good counselors almost always have the empathy of "I have also suffered." It's as if suffering is God's school to fit us for service.
Maybe if the goal was being perfect, those who "do it right" could help the rest of us. But I think that life's greatest lesson is that God redeems our screwups. So when someone has failed or suffered, and God has pulled them through. . .that's the person we learn from. That's the lesson we are all required to learn.
I would love to be pregnant and miss being sick (something that has never happened to me). I think that would be a great experience! But God has truly redeemed that time of illness for me, especially now when my own mother is suffering pain and nausea on an almost continuous basis. She is taking the same medication I took with my third pregnancy. I can say to her, "I know what this is like, Mom" and she knows that I know. It is immensely comforting to know someone else has had to walk the road God has placed before you. I have been much more empathetic of people suffering with long term illness because of my own pregnancies, but now to get to be there for Mom--I wouldn't trade the knowledge for the easy path.
I'm not sure that walking the easy path is ever helpful to other people. I have a great marriage. But I am rarely able to counsel and comfort from the platform of "my life is great." Good counselors almost always have the empathy of "I have also suffered." It's as if suffering is God's school to fit us for service.
Maybe if the goal was being perfect, those who "do it right" could help the rest of us. But I think that life's greatest lesson is that God redeems our screwups. So when someone has failed or suffered, and God has pulled them through. . .that's the person we learn from. That's the lesson we are all required to learn.
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