Working for coffee, working for Jesus

Last week, when I was in Chicago, I had a lovely time. Filled with peace and purpose, confident in my girls back home...it was great. Except for this one moment. I had gone with my preschool director, and she had joked about "Starbucks every day" for weeks in advance, almost a motto for the trip. I myself have always said, with regards to the church, that "I work for coffee." Seems like such innocent fun, eh?

Just as we began the trip, she mentioned what our food budget was, and decided that meals would be on the church budget, but between meal snacks and drinks would be out of our own pocket. Hello? The church isn't buying my coffee? But I work for coffee. With the joking we had done, and the emphasis I had let build around it, I was actually...hurt. I know it sounds ludicrous, but really, don't we do that? Let things get into our spirits that don't belong there, and then ZAP, they sting us.

I could sort of see a problem brewing on the trip, but I did not heed any warnings and examine my heart. On Friday afternoon, after the last conference, I told Jennifer, "You have to buy my coffee this afternoon." I knew we had the budget for it, and it was my RIGHT. I have since been quite grieved by my attitude. I suppose I should praise God that it came out. That is how God often works: if we ignore something festering in our souls, he will let it come into the open. I believe, the more we ignore problems he is trying to bring to our attention, the more public he will make them.

I'm not sure Jennifer ever knew how much ugliness there was in that moment for me, in my heart. She bought me a venti mocha, which I did enjoy...mostly. But this week I am off the fancy coffees and humbling myself before God. Our pastor shared this verse in his sermon on Sunday: "Do not love this world or the things it offers you....For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions" (1 John 1:15,16 NLT). He said that we are all easily enticed; never get to the point where you think you are above the temptations of the world around us. Some day, I will stop at Starbucks again, but for now I am laying down my coffee for the sweeter prize of Jesus.