Thursday, October 9, 2008

Cancer

The situation with my mom is dominating my life right now. It is so hard to wait. I thought when we had an appointment, it would get easier, but today has been hard. She is in a lot of pain, and didn't sleep last night. Waiting for Monday seems like eternity.

I keep thinking, none of this caught God by surprise. When I am numb, or crying, or angry, that one truth keeps running through my head. He is God.

I don't believe in having faith in faith. My own faith is fallible. I can't perform well enough to make something happen. But God is big, and he rules the universe. I don't always understand him, but I trust him. I hate the illness ravaging my mom, but I know that God is and that he loves us.

That said, I still wanted to break all my dishes today. Good thing I wasn't home when that urge came over me.

I think I'll go rip up my sunflowers now. Lovely weather outside.

1 comment:

amyedoula said...

Angie, spoke with wife of Dr. Langerak(sp?) who works with Dr. Street. Very good at oncology. They also have new partner in Bville to help out. Praying for you all. Call me anytime. Girls welcome whenever. Amy