Several of you, who are reading the blog about my mom's trouble, are wondering how I am doing. The simple truth is that I am not thinking very much. God has blessed me with the warm, snuggly blanket of shock and numbness and the gift of tunnel vision. My whole life used to be a balance of kids, husband, parents, friends, church, school, writing, housework, yard work. I was a spinner of plates, and I like that life. Now, my life has two states: taking care of something for Mom, and not taking care of something for Mom. There are times when she needs me to call the doctor or update the blog or handle some thing, and that is what I do. When I am done, I find something to occupy me (reading political blogs, listening to a friend's problems, crunching numbers for my church's preschool ministry) until she needs me again.
Those around me, who are not as emotionally engaged in this situation, can probably speculate about what we are facing. But I am in a plane whose engine has cut out. I have a problem to address, and I will consider the why's and wherefores later, after the plane has safely landed. Talking to me now about my mom serves little purpose, but I am very appreciative when someone hands me a screwdriver or yells out the reading on the altimeter.
Those around me, who are not as emotionally engaged in this situation, can probably speculate about what we are facing. But I am in a plane whose engine has cut out. I have a problem to address, and I will consider the why's and wherefores later, after the plane has safely landed. Talking to me now about my mom serves little purpose, but I am very appreciative when someone hands me a screwdriver or yells out the reading on the altimeter.
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