Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Saving intimacy

I'm so glad for who Jesus is. I mess up all the time. I know a lot about how to follow Christ, but I'm always doing the wrong thing, making the wrong choice. And he is so patient with me. I remember, years ago, watching Law & Order, which always made me feel slightly guilty. After all, there is a murder at the beginning of every show. If you have to yell at the kids so they don't accidentally walk in on a scene that will give them nightmares, you should feel a bit uncertain about your programming choices.

I asked him that sort of classic Christian question about behavior, a variation of WWJD: would I watch this show if Jesus were sitting next to me? Before I could answer myself (and the correct "Christian" answer would likely have been NO) I heard my Jesus whisper to me, "I am inside of you. I see through your eyes."

I don't know if I would have answered myself with the correct Christian answer. I am a bit of a rebel, even about following God, so I probably would have ignored the entire question and just kept watching Law & Order with my little bit of guilt. After the first 15 minutes, I was usually able to relax and not worry so much about the kids bopping in (unless I was watching the Special Victims Unit, which is horrific throughout). But when I realized Jesus was watching the show from within me, using my eyes, I felt a little giddy. I felt a little excited. As if the Creator of the World had come to me, and I was playing show & tell: "And this, Jesus, is what cop shows on tv are like now!"

Maybe my reaction came from realizing that he was always with me. I could not turn on my Lord and turn him off like some personal electronic gadget. My watching Law & Order had not banished him from my presence. There he was, watching with me! Since he was already there, I asked him what he thought about it--he never seems to answer those questions directly. I think I ended up telling him why I liked it--I liked considering all the facets of justice that arise in the different episodes. If some verdict doesn't come down on the side of justice, I will get quite steamed; some episodes I almost can't watch for that reason, more than the icky murder part.

I actually don't watch Law & Order anymore. But I do take Jesus with me everywhere, and he looks out of my eyes, and we talk. Saving intimacy...I didn't have to clean myself up before I walked with him. He makes me clean, and there we are, together, looking at the world around us.

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