Complaining

I have always made my way through difficult circumstances by complaining. I'm not one of those downer people (usually, I hope). I'm actually quite funny. When I complain, I do it in an exaggerated sense that says, "Yeah, I know this is bad, but I'm surviving." We all laugh & I feel better. I get things off my chest, I am honest about how I feel, and I know I can't take myself seriously.

For some reason (let's say growth), in this season of my life, this tool is no longer useful to me. It is so familiar that I will pick it up almost without thinking, but it is like cussing in front of a child--the inappropriateness of my action, my habit, is apparent to me. It's not an easy one to lay down, but as I make the attempt over and over again, I am starting to realize something. What if the very tool that has helped me survive in the past is no longer a good tool for me? What if God is calling me to lay it down? What was once alright is now simply blocking Him from coming to me...

The thought that what I'm wielding might be blocking God instead of propping me up is helpful to me. I am now motivated to let go of my witty griping. I want God more than my own security, my own comfort. Lots of things that seem part of us I think God can strip away in order to touch our hearts: insecurity, emotions, reasoning, any number of habits. What's yours?