Wednesday, January 7, 2009

The ministry of listening

I talk to a lot of people, because I like talking. I like discussing my own viewpoint, because half of my thinking is done when my mouth is moving. Sometimes I advise people (which is very similar to spouting my own viewpoint. . .), and I often consider time with friends to be times of ministry.

Recently, listening to one of my friends, it occurred to me that the bulk of the conversation is not valuable because of my advice. Mostly, people need to talk--not just me. Who knew! When we say things out loud, we hear ourselves, separated from the chaos in our heads. Speaking gives us a steady stream to follow, and when we don't like where it is leading or where it has flowed, we can change it. Thinking is not always so clear.

Sometimes, don't you just want someone to listen? It's not that the comment made to you at the parent/teacher conference is really important, and you know the teacher only wants the best for your child. You know how to think the right things, but you want to tell the story aloud to someone. You want your feelings about the situation to be validated, and then you will go on and do the right thing. When someone listens to us, it makes our story important.

I can sometimes offer a perspective or a comment that is useful to someone, in a friendly conversation. We all do that for each other. But now, when I am listening to my friends, I realize that the greatest ministry is for them to hear themselves, to be validated by my ears.

1 comment:

Ginny's gems said...

Great insight, We can all learn from listening to others. I learn a lot by listening to you.