Now that we've established that my advice isn't as valuable as I might think, and that listening is one of the best ministries we can have, I would like to add one thought: blessing. My favorite people to talk to are those who bless me. Just yesterday, I was talking to my friend Terri and we were encouraging each other in our homeschooling endeavors. At the end of the conversation, I said flippantly, "We should record this conversation to encourage us later." She immediately said, "You are a great mom and a great teacher."
To bless someone, you have two choices. You can tell them some truth about themselves, something that may be obvious to others but they can't see. Or you can (in the words of Gary Smalley, who wrote The Blessing) "picture a positive future" for them. Terri may not know whether I am a great mom or a great teacher. But she knows that I want to be those things, and so she paints a picture for me to live up to. Her words somehow strengthen me to attain the very thing I want.
Verbal blessings have great power. Cultivate them and give them away freely. My mother once told me, "You must be very special to God, for him to trust you with such a trial." My dad repeatedly tells me, "I trust your ability to live your life well." I surround myself with friends who will tell me I am a good mom, because my beautiful, adored teenagers are not saying so. Hallmark moments are not the best time for blessings. They should be used like your everyday dishes.
Do not forget the opposite of blessing: you can curse someone by picturing a negative future for them. As much as I love my girls, I too often fall into the trap of harmful words. May God cover up my mistakes with his grace, and water my words of blessing in the lives of my family, my friends, and even clerks at Wal-Mart.
1 comment:
That's lovely. How good you are at putting feelings into words - no kidding. :)
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