Friday, June 28, 2013

"Love" doesn't mean "easy"

On Monday and Tuesday this week, my husband and I took an overnight anniversary trip. We do this just about every year, just a small getaway to celebrate the marriage God has given us. We are "disgustingly gushy" (quote from our youngest teenager), and our time alone is spent with a lot of I-love-you's, God-has-richly-blessed-me's, and other sentimental expressions.

If we were in a movie, there would be soft lighting, tender glances, and a fade to credits. But life isn't a movie set. We return Wednesday, and I have a particularly difficult day emotionally. I know I am being unpleasant, and I can't stop. I feel overwhelmed by the kids and other issues we're still dealing with (church, tornado, family). Poor Johnny. He even said, "I'm not used to you being this unhappy after a trip."

We have a good marriage. It is easy to walk through our vacation together, but praise God, my husband still loves me on Wednesday. Still stands by me, still tries to help, still loves me.

Somehow, in the gushy expressions of I-love-you, I want to believe that life will be easy. Our marriage is easy, but even then it is a struggle some days to truly listen, to lay aside our differences and parent together, to say things that might hurt but will help us, to resist saying things that would only vent anger. A tiny part of me says that if I am very, very loved, why is life still so hard?

I think that voice gets louder when we think about God. He adores me? Then why...(blank)?

When did "God loves me" become "life is great"?

It is great to be loved. It is a foundation, a security. Sometimes, the love of people fails us, and often God gets painted with that same brush. When hard things in life happen, it looks like He's guilty of the same failure to love that others have shown us.

But God loves us. And His love is enduring. Sometimes, I think He expresses that love in a special way just before something very difficult happens. When Jesus was up on the mountain with three of his disciples, a voice came from a cloud and said, "This is my Son, whom I have chosen; listen to him." What amazing confirmation for both Jesus and His disciples.

Within a week, Jesus is kneeling in a garden, begging God to choose some other path than the cross.

Love does not exempt us from difficulty. Sometimes, loving well compels us to the harder choices. Think about parenting: you could make life with your kids really easy, except that you love them. So you discipline them; you make rules; you put them in timeout or take away computer privileges, and now your own day is much more stress-filled and difficult.

Sometimes, when you love, you choose to get involved in situations you could otherwise avoid. You choose to walk with someone through their pain.

God loves us that way. He adores you. May you walk today--no matter what it holds--with the strength of His love inside of you.

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