At the most recent Lunch at Angie's, everyone shared their relationship with housework. That was fun. For me, it's like a mediocre marriage. I'm not getting out of the relationship, but I could certainly be investing more than I do...I just don't care enough. I wish I had taught my girls a little better. My own mom taught me well, so the skills are there, should I ever want to use them. Cough, cough.
Lunch at Angie's is a little community. We are united by our physical proximity. Small towns have community naturally, because you know the clerk at the store, the police officer that pulls over your teenager, the first name and favorite dessert of your mail lady. In larger communities, you have to work a little bit to find your "group."
Family is forever; friends are the people you choose and intentionally invest in. Unlike these two, community is more random. When you see someone using cloth diapers and think, "Hm, I could do that," that's community. When you ask someone in the produce section what recipe she uses for cabbage, that's community. When you end up spilling your broken heart to a person in the hallway at church and she prays for you and gives you some advice that puts you one step closer to healing, that's community. When someone at a luncheon of random people says she doesn't clean her house very regularly and you think, "Maybe I could dump some guilt," that's community.
We recently attended a small group at our new church. At our previous church, small group was a priority on Sunday night, and our children always expected us to attend. I think there is something solid for our kids in our own habits. Just like I am still married to their father, and they can count on that relationship, when Mom & Dad leave every Sunday night to eat dinner at small group, there is a comfort in the routine. "My parents are connected"--it is a security not really verbalized, but present. It's why moving a lot is hard on children; every routine, every tradition we can give them is foundational (or at least scaffolding) for their lives.
The kids asked, "Did you like the people?" My reply was, "They were random, and I wouldn't have picked them. So yeah, it was good." We practice Jesus when we walk with people who are not exactly like us. I'm sure there is a secure feeling from being surrounded by people exactly like you, but you work out your Christianity best with people who aren't. Especially other Jesus followers who make different choices.
We all need community. When we stepped away from our church last summer, we fell back into the arms of another community. We have lived in Tulsa our entire married lives, and so we have connections. I was blessed with the Lunch at Angie's crowd, who always vary, but they come, and they make my life richer. Finding community is one of the skills I want my girls to have when they leave my home. It doesn't look the same every season of life, but it is a specific thing--not family, not friends--that adds a depth of blessing. Where is yours?
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